I just wanted to take a minute to formally close this blog.
This blog was extremely important to me whilst I dealt with my chronic illness, on top of my birth disability, but it has now served its purpose.
I hope you found it useful, and I hope it left you feeling less alone.
Lisa. x
Thursday, 30 January 2020
Sunday, 31 December 2017
New year's resolution? I'll pass
The first day of a new year however, is arbitrary, a Human invention, and you can start new on a random Wednesday at 2pm if you want to. That's why I'm not a fan of new year's resolutions. It puts unnecessary pressure on you to change everything at once, and, even harder than that, to keep up all of those changes for a whole year.
The picture I have chosen for this year is one of my all time favourite items, a pillow. The humble pillow does so much for me. I put one between my legs to stop them cramping. Under an arm to get a more comfortable night's sleep. I cluster them around me when I'm spending the weekend in bed with Netflix. Pillows, I salute you. If you have not accepted pillows in to your life as a true companion, I suggest you do that in 2018, (but only if you want to of course).
For the year ahead, there are already some things I have agreed to do, and so I'll just carry on with those. Number 1: decrease my body fat. I promised my therapist I would keep on with the gym, and I will. Number 2: keep up with the exercise my physiotherapist asked me to do. I haven't actually managed to do them every day yet...but every other day is better than no days.
Whether you are out at a party, having drinks with friends, or spending a quiet evening alone, I wish you all the best, and a stress free year to come.
Lisa
Sunday, 24 December 2017
Happy Holidays 2017
Two Christmases ago I had to leave midway through celebrations at my parents house, because I was in so much pain from my endometriosis that I had to go and lay down. Last Christmas, I was happily snuggled away with Mr Tech, feeling like a million dollars.
This autumn/winter my right knee has decided to wave the white flag. It felt like my kneecap was trying to twist right off, and the skin was painful to touch. I managed to drag myself to a physio. (I often lack the mental energy to plan these things). Luckily, she was excellent. We talked through my hip dysplasia and my current issues. Somehow she convinced me to do some acupuncture on my knees right then and there, with no cuddly toy for me to hold!
Though not a cure, it definitely made a difference straight away. She also gave me some exercises to do at home. I will certainly attempt to remember to do them every day....Tomorrow I will be at my parents house, being over-fed and generally treated like a tame house-cat. It's going to be awesome.
Whatever you're doing, and whatever you are going through, I want you to remember that you are not alone. Some Holidays will suck, and some will be great. Never be afraid to put yourself first, and do what you need to do.
Wishing you all the best
Lisa x
Sunday, 29 October 2017
You better work b**ch
Britney gives us life's no.1 rule. (click for video)
There is so much incredible talent on that show, and people who have overcome all kinds of life challenges. (Prison, childhood abandonment, family rejection, illness and disability to name a few).
It's been a while since I did any serious exercise. Extreme cake eating is not considered a sport, and neither is marathon sleeping. However, I made a promise to my therapist that I would start up some kind of exercise routine.
It's nerve-wracking to walk into a gym for a lot of people. There's a common fear that it will be wall to wall Gods and Goddesses, wearing practically nothing as they effortlessly work out without sweating.
In my experience, people of all body types go to the gym, and very few people are paying attention to those around them. If anyone did look at me, I had decided that it was because I looked fierce and sickening, and they were jealous of my boogie (and booty). By today's pop culture standards I have a rather small bottom, but I'm very pleased with it. Work what you have!
I stepped on to that treadmill, and I started my journey back to getting into shape. And it was hard. I could only manage half the distance that I used to do, and with a lot of walking in between jogging. I sweated. I struggled to breathe. But I had some good songs playing on my iPod, and I kept going.
And then two days later, I went back again, and it was already so much easier to talk myself into it. Tomorrow, I'll be going again.
No, it's not my favourite way to spend an hour. In all honesty, it ranks somewhere with being set on fire, and having to eat a bowl of carrots. But, if you want to be healthy, happy, and delay that hip replacement for as long as possible, you better work b**ch.
Much love.
Lisa
Sunday, 22 October 2017
Spoon Theory
About two years ago, I first came across Spoons.
A Spoon is a unit of energy commonly used by people dealing with chronic illness. Below is an example of how spoons are used in day to day life. It's not an exhaustive list by any means, but it's a good starting point to figure out your own energy use.
So why am I talking about spoons today? Well, having chronic pain, physical disability, and mental illness uses a lot of spoons. So many, that other things often have to go by the wayside. As much as I love writing this blog, and hate to see how long passes between posts, I simply run out of spoons too often to manage it. So this is both an apology for lack of posts, and an explanation.
Let's say I start the day with 20 spoons. Before I get to work, 3 are gone. During the course of the working day, another 15 are gone. Now I have only 2 spoons left to cover everything I might want to do in the evening. A meal out or a trip to the cinema puts me into the minus spoons.
Every day, I am using more spoons then I have, and so by the weekend, there's a massive imbalance to correct. Having the energy to write, to see friends, to even get out of bed, can become impossible.
This is the situation faced by people world over. Struggling to get by, having to choose between doing something they would enjoy, that will wipe them out for the rest of the week, or staying home and playing it safe.
Recently I started seeing a great therapist. We talked about my lack of energy, and how I can recharge. We agreed that it's perfectly OK to put time aside just for sleep. So now every weekend, I'm putting aside a sleep day, where I make no plans at all, and allow myself the time and space to just stay in bed and recharge.
Staying in bed all day has a lot of negative annotations. It's the kind of activity that brings out negative comments. The act of sleep is seen as lazy, wasteful, even bad for your health.
Well f**k all of that. I'm going to do what's right for me. Now fluff my pillows, it's time for bed.
Lisa x
A Spoon is a unit of energy commonly used by people dealing with chronic illness. Below is an example of how spoons are used in day to day life. It's not an exhaustive list by any means, but it's a good starting point to figure out your own energy use.
So why am I talking about spoons today? Well, having chronic pain, physical disability, and mental illness uses a lot of spoons. So many, that other things often have to go by the wayside. As much as I love writing this blog, and hate to see how long passes between posts, I simply run out of spoons too often to manage it. So this is both an apology for lack of posts, and an explanation.Let's say I start the day with 20 spoons. Before I get to work, 3 are gone. During the course of the working day, another 15 are gone. Now I have only 2 spoons left to cover everything I might want to do in the evening. A meal out or a trip to the cinema puts me into the minus spoons.
Every day, I am using more spoons then I have, and so by the weekend, there's a massive imbalance to correct. Having the energy to write, to see friends, to even get out of bed, can become impossible.
This is the situation faced by people world over. Struggling to get by, having to choose between doing something they would enjoy, that will wipe them out for the rest of the week, or staying home and playing it safe.
Recently I started seeing a great therapist. We talked about my lack of energy, and how I can recharge. We agreed that it's perfectly OK to put time aside just for sleep. So now every weekend, I'm putting aside a sleep day, where I make no plans at all, and allow myself the time and space to just stay in bed and recharge.
Staying in bed all day has a lot of negative annotations. It's the kind of activity that brings out negative comments. The act of sleep is seen as lazy, wasteful, even bad for your health.
Well f**k all of that. I'm going to do what's right for me. Now fluff my pillows, it's time for bed.
Lisa x
Sunday, 25 June 2017
Summer is here: time to hate yourself!
Never have I seen my facebook so crowded with scams, pyramid schemes, weight loss procedures and boot camps.
Let's play a little game with this print out and play bingo card.
Can we all just take a minute to remember that being overweight is not the biggest crisis most people will go through. Don't offer unsolicited advice to people on their weight. Trust me, they know how much they weigh and they already know if they feel good or bad about it, it has f*** all to do with anyone else. Don't offer helpful tips. Don't talk at length about what worked for you.
Please, for the love of science, don't sign up for 6 worthless sessions of cool sculpting, don't buy skinny wraps (there is no possible way they work!), and definitely don't get sold a jar of magic beans.
Those of us who have been through, or are in the midst of, a health crisis can often feel that their bodies are out of control. Chances are, if you're stuck at home in bed, you've gained some weight. Well, so what. You're alive. Being fatter and alive is better than being thinner and dead.
The fact that gyms, personal trainers, and horrible, soulless pyramid sellers everywhere see summer as the perfect time to prey on people shows how vulnerable people are to self hate. Summer is when we have to show some skin, and we don't want to be the worst looking person on the beach right?
F*** all of that. To everyone out there battling illness and or disability: your body has gotten you this far. It is the best friend that you have. Show it some love, because it loves you, and take yourself out to the beach. Or stay inside with a fan. Sand isn't all that great, and seaweed is totally gross...
You do you.
But we should all dance to the below song.
Haters Gonna Hate
Have a great summer.
Lisa x
Let's play a little game with this print out and play bingo card.
Can we all just take a minute to remember that being overweight is not the biggest crisis most people will go through. Don't offer unsolicited advice to people on their weight. Trust me, they know how much they weigh and they already know if they feel good or bad about it, it has f*** all to do with anyone else. Don't offer helpful tips. Don't talk at length about what worked for you.
Please, for the love of science, don't sign up for 6 worthless sessions of cool sculpting, don't buy skinny wraps (there is no possible way they work!), and definitely don't get sold a jar of magic beans.
Those of us who have been through, or are in the midst of, a health crisis can often feel that their bodies are out of control. Chances are, if you're stuck at home in bed, you've gained some weight. Well, so what. You're alive. Being fatter and alive is better than being thinner and dead.
The fact that gyms, personal trainers, and horrible, soulless pyramid sellers everywhere see summer as the perfect time to prey on people shows how vulnerable people are to self hate. Summer is when we have to show some skin, and we don't want to be the worst looking person on the beach right?
F*** all of that. To everyone out there battling illness and or disability: your body has gotten you this far. It is the best friend that you have. Show it some love, because it loves you, and take yourself out to the beach. Or stay inside with a fan. Sand isn't all that great, and seaweed is totally gross...
You do you.
But we should all dance to the below song.
Haters Gonna Hate
Have a great summer.
Lisa x
Tuesday, 9 May 2017
Life: I get knocked down, and I get up again
I thought this would be a quiet year for me.
Last year I spent most of the time in pain, waiting for my endometriosis to be removed, and then in recovery from the surgery. When I got back to work in September, in a brand new, shiny job, I thought things had finally settled down.
When it comes to my health, I think on two levels. My normal level includes the daily pain I get from my waist down, in my muscles and joints, as a side effect from my dysplasia. This is normal, day to day life for me. If it hurts more than usual, I have a hot bath, or I spend more time sitting, but I don't think about it too much.
Then there is the abnormal level. This is anything over and above that pain. Anything in this level can push me over the edge into being unable to do much of anything, because my body is already under stress all the time.
It was the abnormal level that had been dealt with last year, freeing me up to go back to normal life.
When you've been through a big health scare, it changes the way you think about things. Life doesn't phase you quite so much. It was only because I have built up my resilience so much these last few years that I was able to cope so well with that happened next.
There I was, happy. I was so confident in my financial situation and job that I purchased a second hand car. An automatic that would give me more autonomy. I just can't do the long walks like I used to!
And then I got fired. I got fired in a particularly callous, brutal way, along with other unsuspecting staff. No warning. We were just called downstairs, told the company no longer required us, and told to get out and not come back.
It was so surreal, I can still hardly believe it now, more than a month later.
So there I was, unemployed with no notice, with my shiny new car (sort of, it could use a wash actually) and I thought WHY UNIVERSE? WHY DO YOU HATE ME SO MUCH?!
And then I just had to get over it. Yes, it was unfair. Yes, it sucked. But spending days crying and eating chocolate was not going to get me a new job.
So I went to a recruitment agency. I went to interviews. And three weeks later, I had a new job. And you know what, I like it there a lot. I get to work with a great team, and I get to spend my time doing what I enjoy.
I get knocked down
Click to enjoy a rousing song 😺
Last year I spent most of the time in pain, waiting for my endometriosis to be removed, and then in recovery from the surgery. When I got back to work in September, in a brand new, shiny job, I thought things had finally settled down.
When it comes to my health, I think on two levels. My normal level includes the daily pain I get from my waist down, in my muscles and joints, as a side effect from my dysplasia. This is normal, day to day life for me. If it hurts more than usual, I have a hot bath, or I spend more time sitting, but I don't think about it too much.
Then there is the abnormal level. This is anything over and above that pain. Anything in this level can push me over the edge into being unable to do much of anything, because my body is already under stress all the time.
It was the abnormal level that had been dealt with last year, freeing me up to go back to normal life.
When you've been through a big health scare, it changes the way you think about things. Life doesn't phase you quite so much. It was only because I have built up my resilience so much these last few years that I was able to cope so well with that happened next.
There I was, happy. I was so confident in my financial situation and job that I purchased a second hand car. An automatic that would give me more autonomy. I just can't do the long walks like I used to!
And then I got fired. I got fired in a particularly callous, brutal way, along with other unsuspecting staff. No warning. We were just called downstairs, told the company no longer required us, and told to get out and not come back.
It was so surreal, I can still hardly believe it now, more than a month later.
So there I was, unemployed with no notice, with my shiny new car (sort of, it could use a wash actually) and I thought WHY UNIVERSE? WHY DO YOU HATE ME SO MUCH?!
And then I just had to get over it. Yes, it was unfair. Yes, it sucked. But spending days crying and eating chocolate was not going to get me a new job.
So I went to a recruitment agency. I went to interviews. And three weeks later, I had a new job. And you know what, I like it there a lot. I get to work with a great team, and I get to spend my time doing what I enjoy.
I get knocked down
Click to enjoy a rousing song 😺
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