Things
kept changing for me, evolving, and soon my joints were burning. First
my lower back and hips, then my shoulders, ankles, feet and hands. Not
too long later I was diagnosed with inflammatory arthritis, chronic
migraines, and clinical depression.
Pain soon became my close companion. John Green was really on
to something when he said "That's the thing about pain. It demands to
be felt." Pain is continually bringing your mind back to the problem.
That's the way God designed it. Pain is a signal to bring your
attention to a problem in your body that needs to be fixed. But what if
it can't be fixed? What if even doctors don't know how to treat your
diseases? What are you left with? Pain. Your left with continual pain
that is demanding you feel it and think about it. What happens when you
are always thinking about your pain? You lose your joy, your love for
life. Here are a few of the ways I have fought to keep my joy.
Know your limitations. I would be
lying if I said I wasn't still working on this. I have, however, been
better at setting boundaries for my children. They now know that the
mornings are a very painful time for mommy because my joints are stiff
and sore and because of my fibromyalgia fatigue. The boundary I have
set for them in the morning is that I get at least one hour to myself to
drink my coffee and to wait till my pain medicine kicks in and starts
working. They know not to disturb me or to ask for favors during this
time. Having autoimmune diseases leave you with probably less that half
the energy a normal person has to work with during the day. With three
kids to take care of I almost always overdo it. Many times by eight in
the evening I am exhausted and can do nothing besides rest. I also
only plan one activity a day. Sometimes grocery shopping is all that I
have the energy to commit to. So I know that if I need to go shopping
and someone asks me to do them a favor that requires lots of energy I
just have to say no. I cannot give what I do not have.
Having a chronic illness or being disabled
may require you to set new goals or dream new dreams. If you had asked
me ten years ago what my goal was I probably would have told you I
wanted to be a business owner. Now? I just want to be the best wife,
mother, homemaker I can be. You may have to change your life goals up
now that you are ill but dreams, goals, and hope are so very important
to your happiness now. It gives you something to work towards,
something to look forward to. What am I trying to say? Never. Stop.
Dreaming.
If there is
something in your life that your are discontented with, make a change.
If your doctors aren't giving you the help you need, switch doctors.
My rheumatologist had tried only one drug for the arthritis is my
joints, and when I told him it wasn't helping, he shrugged and told me
that was all he could do for me. This, to me, was unacceptable. I have
three children who depend on me to raise them. I need to be able to
get around as easily and pain free as possible. So what did I do? I
switched to a new doctor who tried a different medicine for me that
worked better. I didn't want to do it because I had been going to him
for five years and the next closest rheumatologist was over an hours
drive away. But only you know what you can and cannot live with and
there are some times in life when change is necessary.
Don't tolerate negative people. You know the
ones. The ones who are always criticizing you and everyone else. I
can't count how many times I would like for certain people to feel what
it feels like to live in my body even just for a day. I had a family
member that believed fibromyalgia was a made up condition. She said I
was fine and needed to go back to work. I cannot tell you how angry
this made me. She really had no idea the internal hell I was going
through on a daily basis. I couldn't change her but I could change how
much time I spent around her and I cut it back tremendously.
Judgemental people who only have time for you when they need you and
expect you to drop everything at their whim have no place in your life
healthy let alone unwell. Life is hard. It's hard well. It's even harder
sick. Do yourself a favor and be a friend and have friends that build
each other up instead of tearing each other down.
Don't forget to thank God for your blessings.
Sure your health may be poor but I'm willing to bet there are many good
things in your life also. There are blessings all around you if you
will take the time to stop and look. I do realize that we all have bad
days sometimes. Maybe we slept poorly or maybe we are in pain. When
all else fails I think you should do what you can to take your mind off
it. Read a great book. Snuggle and watch a scary movie with your
favorite person (or pet!). Soak in a hot tub. Get out and do something
fun with your friends. Whatever it takes to get your mind off your
problems.
Don't forget to
invest back into yourself! Just because we are unwell does not mean that
we aren't still women. Get your hair and nails done, put healthy food
into your body and watch it transform into a slim new you! Buy yourself a
new outfit. You will feel better about yourself and you will find some
of that joy and happiness that has been escaping you lately. Just
don't forget that you are still a women and you deserve to take care of
yourself just as much as anyone else.
~
Courtney Diggs
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