Today, the itching has started. I already had the extreme tiredness and terrible pains, but the itching may well be worse. Because of course, the areas that are itching can absolutely under no circumstances be scratched.
I have managed to have a good nose at the scars and not pass out. One is horizontal, on my left side, and about half an inch. The other comes vertically out of my belly button for maybe a bit more than an inch. They are neat and will probably fade to virtually nothing.
I hate itching. The best painkiller I ever used was tramadol, but I could hardly ever take it because it made my entire body itch, even up inside my noise. When you live alone, and there's no one to help scratch your back at 3am, it's just not worth it. I am not above rubbing my body against the carpet, so I have to protect my own dignity.
Quite a few people have asked me if I am better yet. No. I've just had surgery, and we don't even know yet if it will cure my chronic pain, because the pain of the surgery prevents me from knowing if I still have other pains as well. In either case, after more than a year of pain, I'm not going to suddenly spring back to my old self.
Patience please.
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